.....I'm just not feeling like myself.....
Monday I went out for an 8-mile run, employing my new philosophy of slowing down and having more fun. I felt a strange twinge in my right low back (PSIS for you anatomical folks) and figured I must have a tight piriformis or maybe a bruise. I put on my trusty TENS unit and iced before taking off for work. As the day progressed this annoying pain remained. Along came Tuesday and it was still there, not so bad....a bike day and it was pain-free. Still a wee bit nagging at work, but nothing much.
Alas comes Wednesday, I was so excited to get to run, PC and I took off for a 20-miler. Within steps the familiar feeling is back, this time a little more upset. As our mileage builds I realize I am in trouble. Something is wrong. Seriously wrong. In typical runner fashion I start trying to bargain with my body...
Me: If you'll just make the pain a little less I promise to stretch and ice more and me better to you
Body: Sorry Sister, I've had enough of your promises, this is it
Me: Ok, look I used the TENS, I iced and even used the foam roller....come on, throw me a bone here
Body: Nope. This discussion is over. You will learn. I win EVERY time, what I say GOES.
Me: So, um. I am surrendering. I will not complete this run, but you have to promise me I still get to run.......
The conversation ended at the top of a hill, me in tears begging my body to "run it off" and Chris threatening to 'phone a friend' for a ride home.
The run was over.
Chris stayed by my side and we made it home....by the time we returned I was limping, barely able to put weight on my leg as it sent a dagger to my back. With the help of my trusty friend Motrin and the TENS unit I limped into work and proceeded to unweight my leg/back at first with crutches and then a cane.
As a physical therapist you can imagine the looks I got from patients....
"Great, I get the therapist who can't even take care of herself"
I've not even attempted to run. Heck, I can hardly walk.
My eyes have cried so many tears I'm not sure there are any left.
It's strange how bad you miss something when it's taken from you.
I miss running.
I miss feeling like myself.
Although I never took running for granted, maybe I took my health for granted.
I know better.
The patient population I work with reminds me Every.Single.Day how precious health is.
I'm still holding out hope, knowing the natural healing process and hoping I just have to be patient, wait it out....
To my body....I am sorry for not listening more closely.
I truly am.
I only hope we can repair our relationship and you can learn to trust me again.
1 comment:
Aww hon, I am sorry that you are in pain and having trouble. Try to take it easy for a while and listen to your body...I know its not easy, but as you already know it is the best thing to do right now. Hope you are already on the road to recovery :)
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