For a long time this song by Kenny Chesney has resonated with me/us.
First, Chris has always been a huge Kenny Chesney fan. I will never forget some of our first car rides while we were dating and he always had in a Kenny Chesney CD.
Then, I learned my parents related to it when my brother and I left for college.
However, when this song came out it somewhat solidified my feelings about (the idea of) becoming a parent. I know the song is truly positive, but I envisioned myself as the high school kid in the song who was thinking that his life was over now that he would be a parent.
I know it is a selfish and self centered view, but I could relate at the time.
Even as we embarked into marriage and deciding to start a family I think Chris and I had our moments when we wondered....if it was right for us.
We have both been inundated with advice, words of wisdom and unique stories from many family members, friends and acquaintances about what we are about to experience.
Suddenly we have realized that although she is not here yet, she has already started to shape our lives, to restructure our little family.
Up until now, my life as I know it was largely involved in work.
I finished high school, went to junior college, transfered to a University and was accepted to graduate school. I went straight from one school and one goal to the next.
I finished my internship, I took a residency, I got married, I honeymooned, got home and decided to tackle becoming a clinical specialist.
I ran marathons, an ultramarathon, traveled and lived.
Today I take a break.
This afternoon I leave this medical building knowing the next time I'm here will be for her.
This afternoon I walk away hoping all my patients will be well taken care of and not need me.
This afternoon I hang up my white coat and think,
"Will I be the same the next time I put it on?"
So, in a way....yes, there goes my life.
It keeps changing and evolving and there it goes.....yet now it's going a new direction....
Today marks a big transition.
I leave as Erin, the wife, daughter, sister....and the next time I step into this building, this role I will have a new title as
Mom
3 comments:
Yes we will change, but we you forever be the same girl to me that I have experienced and "lived" so many great things with. We are becoming Mom and Dad, but I know that you're still the cutie who gave me butterflies, the one I got to travel with to new places near and far and in between and create a new "most special place" or two with, the who I tricked into marrying me, and the one I run home home to e every morning (or night when I take a partial for weird hours), and just simply you are the one I feel in love with.
I will love and spoil BGV like I know you will too, but in my eyes you will always be everything you always have been before and after we joined our lives.
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Having a baby does change your lives, how can it not! But I truly think its for the better. Before you were living a life for you, for your husband, you could do anything you wanted at a moment. But once that sweet BGV comes home, everything will change, but even as caring and loving as you already are, you'll become EVEN MORE caring and loving. You'll find yourself in a new love with this tiny little girl that is a part of Chris, and a part of Erin. You get to try and shape her and teach her all the wonderful lessons that your parents taught each of you. You get to become and even better person. Your and Chris's relationship will change, but that doesn't mean for the worse, in my case, its for the better. I love Jason even more! Our time together is even more cherished and amazing, and to see him with our little Kailyn, it completely melts my heart. And yes, I too can relate to that song, but now, the song that makes me cry (more than "there goes my life") is Darius Rucker's song, "It won't be like this for long" - sigh. It'll be amazing - so much more than you can even begin to imagine!!! :-)
A very touching and well said post my dear ~ Yes, you will indeed be a changed person when you return, but IMHO a better one! Motherhood changes us but we see things so differently; more caring (if that is possible for YOU), understanding and stronger!
I am honored that you remember how music has shaped and has sucha big part in our lives! Another that will resonate with me forever is "You're gonna miss this" - So, my dear soak up each and every day you will have with our BGV!!! XOXO
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