Somewhere other than the night

It must have been around 11pm or maybe later.  

The roller-coaster took a deep downward turn.  

I found myself in a deep, snarling, raw cry.  

A cry I haven't experienced in at least 2 weeks.  

The day had started ok, a little hectic, a little overwhelming, but nothing outrageous.  

The day progressed just fine, a trip out to to try to look for some housewares became intensely overwhelming....but I managed to make it through.  

A headache of significant intensity came into play, but I still thought.....meh, I can deal with this.

I found myself writing sympathy cards to another young man and woman who just lost their Dad.....

It wasn't as overwhelming as I had expected....so I was feeling decent.

A cranky toddler down to sleep for the night and things just broke down.

I figured it's not worth trying to figure out where it came from.

Strangely enough it was the first time I cried in this way in front of my husband.  

The nights are certainly hard and maybe a little PTSD comes into play as I try not to think about the night the call came in and the moments thereafter.

In other news.  

He was in my dreams again.  

This time we were waiting outside the gates to Disneyland.  

There she was, our little girl, gently held in his arms.  

In playful conversation with him.  

It was just a vision, I couldn't hear them talking, but I just saw her in his arms.  

This is the second dream or vision with her in his arms.....a vision I hope I never forget.